McPhiz [The ace countryside ranger and the case of the vanishing eggs!!] McPhiz: “Hi! I’m McPhiz and this is Gloria my assistant … and Spud the squirrel.” Spud: “Hi! I’m just NUTS aboot this job.” McPhiz: … Continue reading Clatter.
He’s been converted tae electric for years but took tae feuchin tae compensate. His feuchie habit means I hae tae tak a pipe aff him at iviry station. He disni like it. He misses his lum … Continue reading Feuch.
Ah ken ye think ahm bein fykerie but ahm no diving in there wi-oot that lifebelt. Throw it in. Noo, is there enough sugar? Ye ken I like twa lumps. Ahn tak a tot o the … Continue reading Fykerie
Naw naw, thanks for the cannie offer but ah’ll barrie oan. It’s a fine lookin praitchin station ye want me tae try. But ah canni stop. Forgive me. It’s aw richt, dinni fash yersel’s. Bide there. … Continue reading Barrie-on.
Weel done min, Captain Frumpsqualler the first is noo straicht jist like ye straichtened Skew Bazzer Whiffington ahn the ithers, but ah see Baw Graip Clatterbutt the third is noo the squint yin. Ye’ll hae tae … Continue reading Squint.
Noo… we tak turns tae hud the floating table doon. When mistress Hippo taks a bite o cake we hud it doon an when we tak a bite o cake she huds it doon. She huds … Continue reading Tak.
Ahm strapped in here determined tae get some mense dinged intae me this New Year. Tae mak me prepared tae resist aw through 2018 them that falsely claim they are oor elders ahn betters. It’s noo … Continue reading Ding.
Dinni pity them bumbazed craiters poppin in an oot o boxes but instead spare a thoucht for us. We’re aye gettin peerie-heidit and gyte wi huvin tae keep this whirlie maleerie place up tae scratch wi … Continue reading Peerie-heidit.
This kist o aw kists an its trumpery has us bumbazed and thorter. Ye ken what that means. We’ll have tae ca’ in the scientists for the first time ever and if that disni work get … Continue reading Bumbazed.
Look, it’s the loom o morn awready ya evil basket. You’ve nae time tae squat there moodily indulging in existential angst o’er deith, entropy and the ennuii o immortality all o-er the heid o yer morning … Continue reading Loom o morn.