Weel ahv got yer comprehensive instructions fu o detailed eeriorums yiv scrieved fur me here. And I followed them tae the letter ahn wi witnesses that’ll swear tae it. So, wid ye like tae mou that … Continue reading Eeriorums.
The alairm’s aff, whaur’s yer KULF! Hiv ye no been telt it’s a maun-be fur them that sail in oor modern oceans. If ye dinni huv yer ‘Keepie Up Life Float’ (KULF tae you) yer likely … Continue reading Maun-be.
Wi the bankers added tae yer baxter, flesher, souter, scaffie, dyester an polis families yiv won. But ahm keepin the pot. Aw the siller’s mine, an what are ye gonna dae aboot it? Eh! Nuthin. Ya … Continue reading Bawd.
Yince men o mense noo peutherin ahn vaigin, sprosers aw. Crankie, pauchtie an fu o blaw an buller. Yin like the ithir, the auld gaird huddin tae their paps aw what is auld, foosty ahn past … Continue reading Sprose.
Dinni pity them bumbazed craiters poppin in an oot o boxes but instead spare a thoucht for us jannies. Jannies gettin peerie-heidit and gyte wi huvin tae keep this whirlie maleerie place up tae scratch wi … Continue reading Peerie-heidit.
“Can ye mak oot what the scrievins oan the wa’ o the giant’s jile sez wi yer wee mirror yet?” Translate: mak oot: decipher, make out, comprehend. “Can you make out what the writings on the … Continue reading Mak oot.
“It’s aye the same every year Master Poons. There’s no a green flee tae be foond even fur 3 bawbee a wing.” Translate: bawbee, balbie: one time Scottish copper coin, worth equivalent to a half penny … Continue reading Bawbee.
“This disni sound like a gift suitable for a sprog tae me Santa, ah’d do a backgroond check on that list if I wiz you.” Translate: sprog: bright but undersized boy. “This does not sound like … Continue reading Sprog.
“Dinni worry jeeliefish. Santa magic’ll also unrwap ye once ma feet are cooled aff an ah’m oot o the watter. Dinni fash yersels” Translate: jeeliefish: jellyfish, as in the potentially deadly Australian box jellyfish, also known … Continue reading Jeeliefish.