Tak that ye contermacious scowderin fiery beastie ye. Huv the foo smeddum o my fire pit-ootery tin. This is yer last warning. Yiv no tae scoff virgins ahn scowder guid polis sent tae protect them. You’ll … Continue reading Contermacious.
Whaur’s the ‘bigyins wi mense ben the hoose’ when ye need them eh. As usual meffin oan their fat fuds in ile guzzling ingines o reek that get them nowhere ahn blaming awthin but thersells fur … Continue reading Bigyin.
Hoi – dinni forget yer denner-poke. It’s got a leaky jeelie donut, a slice o fried clootie dumplin wi pickle an a potted heid piece wi HP sauce. Translated: denner-poke: lunch-bag. Hey – don’t forget your … Continue reading Denner-Poke.
“Al Queada or no, that amount of oxter hair looks ern, I’m going tae shave it off for ye.” Translated: ern: irritate, pain. “Al Queada or not, that amount of oxter hair looks as if it … Continue reading Ern.
“Aye ah can see yer in the glaur plantin mangroves tae restaur the environment and gaird agin the effecks o changin sea levels and as a penance for imperialism but ah still need tae tak a … Continue reading Glaur.
“Welcome – this is yir jile and I’m yer jiler for the-day – noo get ben the hoose and assume the position for tae be graiped.” Translated: graip: search with the hands, probe, examine. “Welcome – … Continue reading Graip.
“He’ll be awricht in a minute, it’s the first time he’s seen trollie-bags stewn aboot willy nilly – or aataw for that matter.” Translated: trollie-bags: intestines or entrails. “He will be fine in a minute, it … Continue reading Trollie-bags.
“Ya Beezer! Yir a kepper o distinction Ms. Fordersome.” Translated: kepper: a person good at catching. “You wonderful thing! You’re a catcher of distinction Ms. Fordersome.”
“Ahm sorry but there’s nae denyin it. Ye’ve got a skellie ee.” Translated: skellie: squint. “I am sorry but there is no denying it. You have a squint.” Flawed – in so many ways.
“Hud on you! Are ye a loon or a quine?” Translated: quine: girl. “Wait a moment you! Are you a boy or a girl?”