[The links in Lobey's story will open a pop up of the strip relevant to what's happening including a transcript of the dialogue. Closing the window will return you to this page.]
Born in Calton, Glasgow, Lobey was the youngest of 18 children. A shortage of space in the family home meant that Lobey had to be sent to live with his Aunt Mabel who had a smallholding near Springburn. However, the rigorous work routine forced Lobey to
at just 6 weeks old.
After many adventures at sea Lobey was finally shipwrecked on a Caribbean Island and . Fortunately for Lobey, the cannibals turn out to be , having moved out to the Caribbean after the Blitz.
The cannibals agree to accompany Lobey on an to find the famed White Queen. On the journey Lobey meets and befriends a which becomes Lobey's companion; Lobey later names the foal El Fideldo, or Elfie for short.
Lobey and the Cannibals eventually find the who agrees to grant Lobey his wish to be transported to Mexico. Lobey becomes embroiled in a fight with some bandits shortly after his arrival in Mexico, and as a result of his success is asked to . Lobey accepts the offer, but after a while he decides to continue on his travels and heads across the border to Texas.
In Texas he meets with a local rancher Whisk E. Glorr, who . Lobey with Whisk E's daughter Adoda but decides to leave the ranch after finding out she is already married.
Lobey journeys on to Colorado where he meets a wagon train made up exclusively of heading for Arizona; the leader of the train is a villain by the name of .
Lobey decides to join up with the émigrés and helps them of Calton Creek; he later accepts the job of sheriff.
…found the township of Calton Creek
Transcript.
[In a couple o weeks we were a settled doon in Calton Creek…] Calton Townsfolk: “The place is feenished noo … Post Office, Shoe Maker, Grocer, Butcher, Gambler, Gunsmith, Plumber, Saloon an a Jile … a' we need noo is a Sheriff.” – "There's naebody tae beat Lobey!" – "Lobey'll be the Sheriff!" – "We want Lobey!" – "Lobey's the wee boy!"
[… an so it was I became the Sheriff o Calton Creek … ] Jile hoose posters 'Wanted for Murder.' 'Polis Sports.'
[… wi Rank Bajin as resident villain … ] Bajin "Hee Hee Hee."
… an the hitch-hiker always somewhere aboot tryin tae thumb a ride hame ….] G.I. Bride: “Pertick?”
…villain by the name of Rank Badjin.
Transcript.
[But I hadnae time tae stop for ma tea….] Lobey: "Nae thanks Mac–I'm goin up tae Colorady an I'm in a hurry – so I'll jist wish yir leader guid luck then beat it…."
Wagoneer: “Suit yersel–cheerio then, an a' the best….”
[I got up tae the leaders wagon….] Lobey: "I jist came tae???"
Badjin: "!!!"
Badjin: "We meet again!"
Lobey: "A fine kind o bloke YOU are – Runnin awa fae a few thoosan injuns…."
Badjin: "Self preservation is a natural law, my friend, and I am not particularly enamoured of the noble red man nor of his scalping propensities…."
Lobey: "Well, I was goin tae Colorady for some beetles – hear the British ministry o agriculture's lookin for's many as they can get–but I'm no goin noo wi you leadin the perty, Badjin…."
Glaswegian Émigrés
Transcript.
[I'd jist aboot got tae the Colorady border when I seen anither wagon train headin West….] Lobey: "Hardy folks thae pioneers! Live in thae wagons an face the perils o the prairie … injuns, wild animals, drought, stervation … I'll go ower an wish them luck … gidyap Hen!"
Lobey: "Hullo! I jist came up tae wish yese luck an God speed ye on yir journey!"
Wagoneer: “Thanks! HAW, NELLIE - here a bloke frae Glesga!”
Nellie: “I'm jist rinsin oot the cups – Be oot in a meenit!”
Lobey: “Ye're fae Glesga?”
Wagoneer: “Aye, sure - the hale lot o us … fae the Calton … we're goin tae set up a colony o wur ain at Arizony … everybody barra-boys … rerr money in it, sur….”
Lobey: “Imagine that! I'm fae the Calton masel! But was brung up by my auntie in Springburn….”
Wagoneer: “Ye don't say! Well, well! HAW NELLIE - get the kettle on! Come on in Mac….”
…falls in love
Transcript.
[I was soon punching cows for the Lazy Z ranch…] Lobey: “Take that!” Bash!
[Efter I'd punched every coo in sight I went up tae the cook hoose for ma tea…] Cow-boy01: “Howdy pardner!”
Cow-boy02: "Yore the noo puncher ah reckon?"
Lobey: “Shore am! 'Bronco' Dosser they call me… . Howdy!”
Cook: “Here's yore chow, boys!”
[When I seen the lassie that brung in wur tea ma legs a' turned tae watter - me that's never even looked at a girl, neither … of coorse I was young then an no a bad lookin chap if I say it masel.] Adoda: “Howdy! Yore the noo hand?”
Lobey: “Glubber glubber, glubber glubber … yes mam …” blush!
[Once I got my breath back – an efter the ither coo punchers had went – I asked the lassie her name… Ma hert was goin like the big drum in the Govan Burgh Baun'….] Lobey: “My names Lobey - whit's yours, please?”
Adoda: “Adoda - I am mister Glorr's daughter.”
…offers him a job
Transcript.
[Ridin through the streets o Laredo by courtesy o Paramount picters wan efternoon I stopped an bought mysel a new rig-oot…] Lobey: “All I've got to do now is walk bow leggit an they'll think I'm Tom Mix … Here, a bloke goin tae speak tae us Elfie….”
Whisk E Glorr: “Howdy pardner.”
Lobey: "Howdy pardner! Reckon it's mighty fine weather we do bin havin lately … shore is … spit …."
Whisk E Glorr: “What outfit ye ridin for pardner?”
Lobey: "Nary a one, pardner, nary a one … spit …."
Whisk E Glorr: “I am Whisky E. Glorr owner of the Lazy Z … I could use a good man … can yo'all punch cows pardner?”
Lobey: "I yo'all can pardner."
Whisk E Glorr: “Yore hired pardner!”
Lobey: "Thanks, pardner."
…become Sheriff
Transcript.
[The excited Mexican had terrible news….] Mexican: “Senor! Come quick! The local bank is being robbed by a wicked hill bandit!”
Lobey: "Come on Elfie!"
[We hurried to the bank just as the bad bandit was leavin wi a the money….] Bad Bandit: “Do not come closer if you value your life….”
Lobey: “Nuts tae you, hill bandit!”
[I had nae gun, but I rushed in an closed wi the desperado jist the same….]
☆☆Bash☆ Lobey: “There's wan on the whiskers tae ye, ye bad villain!”
[All the Mexicans was that pleased I'd saved their money that they held a fiesta for me …] Senior Mexican: “Will you be our Sheriff, senor, and rid us of the desperate hill bandits of which we live in terror?”
signs: 'Our hero senor Dosser.' 'The wee boy is senor Lobey.'
Lobey: “Aye, sure Mac!”
White Queen.
Transcript.
[We soon got tae the palace an were showed intae the Queen's room … whit a shock!] Queen's Factotum: “Hullo, Queen old gal … couple of chaps I met … have a tame sacred foal … amazing what?”
Queen: "How interesting!"
[The Queen was a hum-dinger – a wee honey …] Queen: “Dooo sit down and tell me of how you came to have this tame foal – I'll ring for tea ….”
Lobey: “Awfie nice o ye, Queen.”
[Over wur nice tea (smashin wee sodi scones an everythin) we telt the Queen a aboot wur adventures…] McAnnibal: “An that's hoo we came tae be here, Queen.”
Queen: “How thrilling! Now Mr McCannibal will wish to return to his baggage party at the mouth of the cave and thence to his village … I will send an escort with him tomorrow … and you Mister Dosser?”
Lobey: “I'd like tae go tae Mexico, Queen – but I'd like tae tak the wee foal wi me if that's a right.”
Queen: “Certainly - the foal is yours, Mister Dosser - I shall arrange for your transportation to Mexico immediately - now I will have a servant show you to your room….”
Two Legged Foal: El Fildelo.
Transcript.
[For gallopin aboot wus a herd o two-leggit horses wi their wee foals….] Lobey: “Well, well, well! I've never seen nothing like that afore!”
McAnnibal: "Nor me!."
[When the funny horses seen us they were aff at the toot … but ….] wee foal: trip ☆BASH!☆
Lobey: "Haw, there's a wee foal fell, well!"
[The wee foal was stunned wi fallin an we went ower an helped it up on its pins, puir wee thing…] Lobey: "Aye…."
[It's a wee lassie foal.]
[But the wee foal widnae go…] Lobey: "It's lickin ma haun … it seems tae like me … here's a sweetie, wee foal … crump it up noo, for fear ye choke …."
McAnnibal: "Ye'll hae a job gettin rid o hit noo right enough Lobey!"
…accompany Lobey on an expedition….
Transcript.
[Hannibal McAnnibal's expedition was soon ready tae set aff tae the 'Mountan O The Deid' ….] McAnnibal: “Noo hiv ye got everything - yir wee attaché cases wi yir tooth brushes an a change o claes?”
Cannibal01: "Aye…." Cannibal02: "Uhuh" Cannibal03: "See's a haun wi ma shield cherlie…." Cannibal Cherlie: "Aye Okay - jist haud yir horses a meenit til I get ma spear sherpened…." Cannibal04's partner: "Haw, Hughie - ye've forgot yer piece!" Cannibal Hughie: "Awa hame, noo … gawn, awa hame - ye canna come wi me - aw annie cry the dug - scram, go on - awa hame - beat it shoo!…." Dug: "woof woof." Cannibal05's partner: "Mind an bring somethin back for the wean. An keep yir ee's aff the beautiful white queen if ye fin her or you an me's gonnae fa oot…." Cannibal05: "Aw pipe doon for guidness sake!" Cannibal06: "Run ower tae the rubba-dub-dub an get us a half bottle in case I get bit wi a snake or somethin Minnie…." Minnie: "Ony auld excuse…."
…from Clydebank.
Transcript.
[When the yellin died doon the king o the cannibals made everybody beat it except me ….] Cannibal King: “Umpah, umpah!”
Lobey: "Aye, that'll be right!"
[Then the cannibal king spoke again ye could hiv knocked me doon wi a feather….] Cannibal King: “Whit pert o Glesga are ye from Mac?"
Lobey: “The Calton, How?"
Cannibal King: "We're frae Clydebank … pleased tae meet ye…."
Lobey: “So ye're no really cannibals at all? Cannibal King: "Naw." Lobey: "well I never!"
Cannibal King: "We were blitzed oot an came tae this desert island aboot six years ago … bein frae Clydebank we soon chased all the cannibals an took over the place on wur own … wait till I get the wife … she's fae Yokers …."
Lobey: “Ye don't say! It's a sma world…..”
…captured by cannibals.
Transcript.
[The cannibals pit me in a mud hut an locked me up wi two English missionaries who nattered awa to each ither a night ….] Missionary01: “Tynt mooch of a mood'oot cock.”
Missionary02 "Now,tynt cock-why back in Bradford…"
Lobey: "As if things wisnae bad enough…."
[Next mornin the cannibal stuck his heid in the door an called oot the two missionaries….] Missionary01: “How ripping cyril! He's taking us to breakfast….”
Lobey: “Not 'to', ye mugs - 'for'!"
[A wee while efter the missionaries had went the cannibal came back wi a plate o soup for me, but I wisnae hungry.] Lobey: “I wunner which o the two this is made oot o, puir sowls….”
[Then aboot lunch-time the cannibal stuck his loaf roon the door an beckoned me oot…. I was quakin wi fricht…..] Lobey: “It's no right! A the hardships I've suffert jist tae wind up as a cannibal entrée… This is the feenish…..”
Cannibal: "smacking noises."
…away to sea at just 6 weeks old.
Transcript.
[When I was six weeks auld I decided to run away tae sea … I could speak awfie weel by that time, tae ….] Lobey: “Nuts tae this! I’ll run awa an get a job as a sailor….”
[‘So next morning’ at Plantation Quay….] Lobey: “Ony chance o a job as a sailor, Mac?”
Deck hand: “What age are ye?”
Lobey: “Six weeks…”
Deck hand: “Aye aye mate, come aboard.”
Lobey: “Whaur’s yer boat goin tae Jack?”
Deck hand: “The Caribbean, mate - we sail tonight!’
[It wisnae until efter the boat sailed that I discovered it had a brutal captain called ‘Black’ Swite … he was ten feet tall an had hauns on him like shovels ….] Captain: “Avast there ye dogs! Splice the fo’c’sle amd run out the mizzen mast if you can find it for it’s been mizzen since last Tuesday … yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.”
