
It’s the remains o Pirate Captain Windy Wuntle Windlestrae richt eneuch, preserved oer the years by his weel kent aboundant pushionous pumps. His peg leg sauf here anaw. Pirate Captain Windy Wuntle Windlestrae. [part 2 of … Continue reading Pushionous. →

Thon giant zombie took me by surprise ye ken. I managed tae bash its brains oot wi my machete afore I realised I wiz wantin an erm. Guid job ah’m corrie fisted. It wisni till I … Continue reading Wantin an Erm. →

Ah’m awfie sorry mha queeriosity goat the better o me and ah hud tae tak a gander. I hud tae see whit it wuz that aw they folk doon the road were comin up tae ye … Continue reading Queesitive. →
Scottish Word: Gowan.

I see ye wee moudie wavin a gowan at me. Ahn I hear you too, (bit unco that). Whit’s that yer saying? He’s saving a moose that wiz stuck doon yin o yer tunnels. Jist as … Continue reading Gowan. →
Scottish Word: Papple.

It’s bad eneuch when the winter lard-man melts sae quick son but it’s even startin tae papple noo. I mind when I wiz your age, they used tae staun fur days an we used tae hae … Continue reading Papple. →

Hoi! Did naebuddy ken ah wiz a clinkit buddy afore they hitched you up as a coonterwecht! Mah chair’s aluminium inaw – very lichtweicht! Translate: clinkit: thin emaciated. Hey! Did no one know that I was … Continue reading Clinkit. →

Ah kent ah wiz ill-hung-thegither but this is takin the piss. Hoo’d ye jine a puggie’s haun that size tae sic a muckle airm like mine an get it tae work? It IS a puggie’s haun, … Continue reading Ill-hung-thegither. →

Jings! Hoo’d hae thoucht oor auld chemistry teacher could move sae swipper like. It wiz pit oot afore ye proper caught licht. Translate: swipper, swepyr: quick, nimble, active. Wow! Who would have thought our old chemistry … Continue reading Swipper. →
Scottish Word: Huidin.

Look! There wiz a perfectly guid huidin oan that rock that ye rowed aside. Ye could’ve moved the flowers and swingle’t open easy. Ruined. Ma step-faither wiz real guid at fittin them tae cabinets inaw. Translate: … Continue reading Huidin. →
Scottish Word: Fower.

Stage yin an Stage twa are the tasty yins. Stage fower Haggisses are the dangerous yins but are certainly aw lang deid by noo. There has only ivver been yin sichtin in recent times. An that … Continue reading Fower. →
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