Been bit by a rushyroo hiv ye? Fit a scash aboot nithin ya muckle daeless fouterin gaup ye, they’re nae bigger than yer faither’s thoumb. Translated: rushyroo: the shrew. Been bitten by a shrew have you? … Continue reading Rushyroo.
Ahwww naw. It’s the dreaded pumkinossity. Ye get orange plooks aw ower the broo o yer harnpan an afore ye ken it yer heid puffs intae a muckle pumpkin an yer deid! It’s fungal an there’s … Continue reading Harnpan.
Ah kent ah wiz ill-hung-thegither but this is takin the piss. Hoo’d ye jine a puggie’s haun that size tae sic a muckle airm like mine an get it tae work? It IS a puggie’s haun, … Continue reading Ill-hung-thegither.
Scottish Word: Golach.
Hey Brandreth dig oot anither type o oor environmentally freendly bug-aff skoosh. This muckle hairy golach seems tae hae a taste for this yin. It’s no buggin aff. In fact ah think it’s startin tae like … Continue reading Golach.
Scottish Word: Ding.
Ahm strapped in here determined tae get some mense dinged intae me this New Year. Tae mak me prepared tae resist aw through 2018 them that falsely claim they are oor elders ahn betters. It’s noo … Continue reading Ding.
Ya fat geenyoch bear that ye are. You think yiv slaved the bees tae keep ye in hinnie forivver. But yer doitert ahn bein tricked. They’re murtherin you ya muckle fat fozie by feeding ye a … Continue reading Foziness.
Scottish Word: Bummel.
Yoor no helpin. Stop pickin yer nose wi yer tentacle. We’re supposed tae perswad yon tarry breeked jocks that we’re here tae save them frae bein blootered by yon muckle bummelin waw. No tae mak them … Continue reading Bummel.
Scottish Word: Fugie.
We’re kent as the Rat Catchers McGinty ahn Co. ya muckle ugly halliracker fugie furball ye. Ahn ahm gien ye fair warnin, Rob Roy, that although yer wanted deid or alive we’re going tae tak ye … Continue reading Fugie.
Scottish Word: Yella.
Jings! A muckle buttered finger o toast chasin a biled egg wi a yella moo. The things ye see when ye dinni huv yer gun. Translated: yella: yellow. Crumbs! A giant buttered finger of toast chasing … Continue reading Yella.
[This is in the spirit of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.] The Capitalist and Politician. “Business is awfie awfie stottin bigly. Muckle. It maks us great, like massel. Art’s no sae awfie great. I divna ken … Continue reading Wally-draig.