
Moudie, massel ahn Rattons here are wonderin if the whittrets ahn futtrets are gonna tak us seriously eneuch when we set aboot them. What wi us wearin oor red noses anaw. Nae meanin tae be disrespeckfu … Continue reading Whittret. →

It’s the remains o Pirate Captain Windy Wuntle Windlestrae richt eneuch, preserved oer the years by his weel kent aboundant pushionous pumps. His peg leg sauf here anaw. Pirate Captain Windy Wuntle Windlestrae. [part 2 of … Continue reading Pushionous. →

Thon giant zombie took me by surprise ye ken. I managed tae bash its brains oot wi my machete afore I realised I wiz wantin an erm. Guid job ah’m corrie fisted. It wisni till I … Continue reading Wantin an Erm. →
Scottish Word: Sterve.

He sterves himsel aw year tae pose aboot wi the figure o an adonis an then expects us tae fatten him up tae the classic Santa profile at the last minute. An I hae my suspicions … Continue reading Sterve. →
Scottish Word: Bawkie.

I’m o the opeenion Igor, that ye need tae cut back oan yer bawkie breedin programme. No least because o the nummer o flies ye hae tae breed tae feed them. Ye’ll get me a bad … Continue reading Bawkie. →
Scottish Word: Humph.

“Yer punishment and yer curse for dissin yer betters is tae humph yer inlaw an her dug up iviry Corbett in the land. An think yersel lucky I dinni mak it Munros anaw.” Translated: humph, hump: … Continue reading Humph. →
compass, dog, hill, kilt, mother in law, mountain, path, poacher, pocket, salmon, stick, umbrella, walk Scottish Word: Lugs.

“Jings, it’s no jist airborne – they can get tae us direct through oor lugs an een – he’ll lach an part wi siller ony minute. Likely even gi’ awa his bonus anaw.” Translated: lugs, lug: … Continue reading Lugs. →
Scottish Word: Kithan.

“Yir nithin but an athegither kithan an ye dress like een anaw.” Translated: kithan: rascal, blackguard, a tricky person. “You are nothing but a complete blackguard and you dress like one as well.” The Scottish Word: … Continue reading Kithan. →
Scottish Word: Lade.

“Hoi you! If ye faw in the lade ye’ll be a deid deuk anaw.” Translated: lade: a mill race. “Hey you! If you fall into the watercourse feeding the mill, you also will be as dead … Continue reading Lade. →