“Oh! Ma herts aw a whiltie-whaltie cause I ken yer aboot tae whillywha me intae ma closeup.” Translated: whillywha: wheedle, coax, cajole. “Oh! My heart is all a pitter patter because I know you are about to cajole me into having my close up taken.” blur – When a normal soft focus lens might disappoint.
“Dinni worry I think she’s deef as well as wanthriven.” Translated: wanthriven: in a state of decline, stunted. “Don’t worry I think she is deaf as well as shrivelled up.”
“I would advise caution if I wis you, yir budgie’s guy auld fur tae survive the procedure of gettin its temperature took wi a rectal thermometer.” Translated: auld: old. “I would advise caution if I was you, your budgie is rather old to survive the procedure of getting its temperature taken with a rectal thermometer.” [...]
Father Time – the transition: “Wha’s cacked their breeks this time? You or me?” Translated: cack: excrement. “Who has soiled their trousers this time? You or me?” Time: Do not be nervous of the time ahead of you. Fortune favours the brave – be bold in your endeavours.
“Elsie, yiv nae need tae speld the tinnie wi yir steroidal can opener. There’s a wee pou tab on tinnies noo.” Translated: speld: cut, slice open. “Elsie, you have no need to slice the tin open with your can opener on steroids. There is a little pull tab on tins now.”
“Seems like caw handled furlies ye can cuiter yersel are on the way oot.” Translated: cuiter: mend, patch up. “It seems like handle fitted wind up devices that one can mend oneself are on the wane.” There is or was a wind up laptop but it was not a fix it yourself item for the [...]
“Ahn am sure ye’ll be tellin us that it wiz a blinter blowder that got ye stuck up there?” Translated: blowder: sudden gust of wind. “And I’m sure you will be telling us that it was a blasting boisterous sudden gust of wind that got you stuck up there?”
