[This is in the spirit of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.]

The Capitalist. “Business is awfie awfie stottin bigly. Muckle. It maks us great, like massel.

Art’s no sae awfie great. I divna ken but that’s what folk are sclaven tae me.

Smairt folk. Richt beezer folk. Smairt like massel.

We dinnni need art. Nae profit. Total boorach. Its mair business we need ken.

Muckle muckle profits. So important. It’ll be beezer. Huge.

Youz so called artists are muckle bigly naebuddys. Wally-draigs.

You winni mak us great like fit we dae. Chiels like massel. Beezer chiels believe me. Smairt chiels. You’ve nae idea.”

Translation

wallydrag, wallydraig: a good for nothing.

The Capitalist. “Business is really really amazingly bigly. Huge. It makes us great, like me.

Art is not so very very great. I don’t know but that is what people are telling me.

Smart people. Very very smart people. Smart like me.

We don’t need art. No profit. Total disaster. We need more business believe me.

Tremendous tremendous profits. So important. It’ll be great. Huge.

You so called artists are a very bigly waste of space. Losers.

You won’t make us great like we do. People like myself. Amazing people believe me. Smart people. You have no idea.”

ˈwɑliˈdreg

Not a waste of space.

Just to be clear. Art is not a waste of space.

Art and design permeates the fabric of everything we do. What we wear. The places we live and work. They make devices we use a pleasure. They make communication flow and travel. They work an atmosphere to calm the mind and ease the body.

Everything from the choice of paper, the type and colours, to warning signs, to how well an iron irons and fits in the hand. The ads that sell your products, films, comics, books, the web and music.

From the ring in your ear to the tattoo on your boyfriend.