“Ah’d like fried bacon wi the tattie scones also fried but wi ma black puddin grilled along wi a tomato, jist cut in half mind. An I’m no wantin link sausages, I’ll hae lorne, twa slices, an cut it thick. Hae the tea an toast ready at the same time hen, an be sure to butter them richt up tae the edges. Love ye.”

Translated:

Lorne Sausage: square sausage, sliced sausage. Made from minced beef, pork, breadcrumbs and spices shaped into a rectangular block and chilled until suitable for slicing. Then grill or fry the slices, fits bread perfectly.

“I’d like fried bacon and potato scones also fried, but with my slices of black pudding grilled along with a tomato, just cut in half, as you know. And I do not want link sausages, I’ll have lorne sausage instead and please cut them thick. Have the tea and toast ready at the same time darling, and be sure to butter them up to the edges. Love you.”

[lorne spelled out in the phonetic alphabet.]

Illustration Friday.
Breakfast
and link (linked sausages) Fitted breakfast too well not to use again. Sorry.

A Scottish breakfast consists of tea and brown wholemeal toast with marmalade along with a plate of fried eggs, back bacon, potato scones, fried mushrooms, grilled tomatoes and Lorne sausage. You will also get either a fried black pudding or slices of fried clootie dumpling or fried fruit loaf or bread. It can also be served with porridge or kippers for a starter. In a posh hotel you might even get a small glass of fresh orange juice as well.

Baked beans are a modern option.

My favourite personal Scottish breakfast is a soft poached egg, crisp grilled bacon and grilled tomato in a soft morning roll. Adding a slice of black pudding is a stretch but gives extra flavour and texture.

Doesn’t half make a tasty mess when you bite into it.